Your hands on my hips pull me right back to you

I—catch that thrust give it right back to you,

You’re—in so deep I’m breathing for you,

You—grab my braids arch my back high for
you

Your—diesel engine, I’m squirting mad oil on

Down on the floor til my speaker starts
to boil

I flip shit

Quick slip

Hip dip

And I’m twisted

In your hands, and your lips, and your tongue tricks

And you’re so thick and you’re so thick

And you’re so—

Crown Royal on ice….

(Source: youtube.com)

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blau-rosa:

(X)

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• Song Cry

Her face was stone

Was shocked on the other end of the phone

Word back home is that you had a special friend?

So what was oh-so-special then

You had given away without getting at me-

That’s your fault! How many times you forgiven me?

How was I to know that you was plain sick of me??

I know the way a nigga living was wack,

But you don’t get a nigga back like that!

Shit, I’m a man with pride!

You don’t do shit like that—

You don’t just pick up and leave and leave me sick like that—

You don’t throw away what we had- just like that!

I was just fucking them girls, I was gon’ get right back!

Jay-Z | Song Cry

So…As much as I love this song—This is the shit I be talking about! lol… People really think like this! They really feel like this! Everything is all good while they’re off doing whatever they want to do and not giving a fuck how you feel about it— but the moment you decide that enough is enough—then they want to try to justify shit. Now, it’s YOUR fault that they decided to cheat on you. Jay retorts -“How many times you forgiven me? How was I to know that you was plain sick of me?”  So basically—she’s the one to blame because she put up with the bullshit. And while that may be true—what about the fact that she wouldn’t have had to put up with the shit if HE didn’t provide it in the FIRST PLACE? 

He say “I was just fucking them girls, I was gon’ get right back!” As if that’s just okay. As if it’s perfectly fine for him to go around fucking girls with the security of knowing that his woman was going to be right there whenever he decided to return. Fuck type of shit is that?? Some ol’ bullshit. But the funny part is, it’s just a song—he never lied though. Like I said, people really rationalize shit—just like this. 

• The Shit Pissed Me Off

Basically I sat on a 3-way phone call with my dude…and my mother. It wasn’t my idea but I’ve done it a few times before so it’s become something like a typical thing. But I’m thinking that I never want to do this shit again because I don’t appreciate the shit. My mama was talking to me as she usually does, right- “Cameron, you need to…”blah blah blah. The shit that irritated the fuck out of me was when dude start cosigning like “Right! I say that shit all the time!” Now…I was laughing because my mother, the way she talk and operates is funny to me. We’re always laughing on the phone with each other—even when we’re having a serious conversation because we’re silly like that. She was serious as hell, and I knew that, but I found humor in her tone so I was cracking up! & then he tells me “That’s your problem, you don’t take anything seriously! You think everything is a joke!” —HE was serious…

And that’s the shit that pissed me the fuck off! I mean, give it, I had a hearty good laugh—but don’t tell me about what I don’t take seriously and what you think my problem is! The fuck? And it was the tone taken that pissed me off more than anything because he was talking to me as if I was his child or some shit. I don’t take anything seriously?? REALLY?? Hmm…okay.  

SO…To refrain from saying some off the wall shit like he claims I always do—I kept quiet…I didn’t want to continue with the conversation. I was pissed. I let them finish talking though because my mother digs talking to him and vice versa. But once they noticed how quiet I was—suddenly I was being rude, and oh “now she has an attitude” “Cameron is such a crybaby” Blah blah blah. 

The nerve…

Yeah I was mad—and it went deeper than anything really said in the conversation. It was principalities involved. 

• Crazy…

The other night I went to a couple of bars with my best-friend, her roommate, & her roommate’s boyfriend. We were on a mission to get fucked up—well…not me—because I’m really not about that life anymore—but everybody else was on the prowl. 

ANYWAY— I was slurping on this big jar of this drink called a Pink Cadillac, which was the size of a Kool-Aid pitcher. By the time the roommate’s boyfriend’s roommates walked in the joint…I was definitely buzzing, but I lie to you not— I froze in spot when I saw one of them because he put me so much in mind of Mario—who passed away. I mean…he didn’t look like his twin per se, but it was something about him that was so dead on that I found myself staring at him. He smiled like him, he was really really tall like him—but like I said, there were obvious differences. 

So I told my best-friend like “Oh my GOD! He looks like MARIO!!!” But she had never seen Mario in person before…I told her “You would’ve had to have seen Mario up close and personal to understand…but you can’t.” —& then I became sad. 

But it was crazy because that shit had fucked me up for the rest of the night-SMH.

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• I Need…

I need a vacation and TRUST ME, I’m going to be the one to give it to me. I just want to get away- alone -turn my phone off for a weekend and enjoy being a random nobody in another city, state, and region of the country. 

And it’s going to happen…probably around August-September is the time I’m shooting for and I CAN’T WAIT!

(Source: leilockheart, via iloveshamrock)