“Dry your tears, have no fears”
I wish I had a son already. I’ve expressed such desires before but seriously, I want my son like yesterday. I kinda want a four-five year old though…As precious as the first few stages are, I don’t feel like going through the pregnancy, infant and toddler stages of the whole ordeal. lol—just zip forward to the perfect age where he can talk, keep me company, and understand just enough about life that he’s still innocent and happy. A lot of people desire kids so that they can dress them up in stylish clothes and Instagram pics of their day-to-day lives—so basically they want a human baby doll. All that stuff is good and grand, but my yearning for a child stems to something deeper than all that. It’s damn near selfish, but I just want my child because I feel like he would be the only person who wouldn’t be able to disappoint me… Well, at least not at that age, I figure. Who knows what he’d be capable of later on in life? But at that age, he’d just my little boy. And he wouldn’t be perfect, but he’d be as precise as possible in my eyes…He’d be the only one in the world under God, who’d matter to me.
And I mean…if I had a daughter, it’d be the same lol—but I really want a son.
Guess in the meantime, I should get a puppy. Because the way things are looking…I’ll be waiting for a minute before I’ll get to have my son.
A lot of people struggle with looking me dead in the eyes. Staring at a picture of me is one thing, but when I’m right in front of someone, in the flesh…I find that most people, men specifically, shy away. Even if they give me the desired eye contact, they’re uncomfortable. Why? Because I be dead ass serious, when I’m searching they’re eyes for sincerity and most of them be on some bullshit so they can’t even front. Especially Vin…he never could handle the glare. From the moment I met him, he avoided looking at me dead on, and I couldn’t understand it then. But later, after all the bullshit he caused upon me, I understood why. lol. It all made sense.
I have a way of reflecting people’s flaws back on them…and ya know—nobody can really handle the truth—especially about themselves.
Original work from Brooklyn Artist: Thomas Seltze.
Team USA: Sochi 2014
While many of his peers in South Side Chicago were playing basketball or football, Shani traveled to the suburbs daily to pursue his passion for speed skating
This is one of my favorite Sheneneh scenes because her ass is out of control! lol. This show will forever be #classic.
Von and I have always been really cool. Every time we talk, it’s just a good time because he’s freaking hilarious and he always says some random shit that slays me…I’m not attracted to him romantically though. I used to think that he was the cutest thing as he resembled Allen Payne in Jason’s Lyric and New Jack City…but now he’s just Von to me…I mean, he’s still attractive, but I like him as my friend—nothing more, nothing less. So imagine the awkward feeling that had come upon me when he basically told me that he wanted me to ride his face… I just…I just didn’t have any reply for that. I was like “But why??” lol! He had told me that he had always carried some type of feelings for me since we were younger. He told me that he thought I knew. And maybe I knew a little bit…but I didn’t know that they were still in existence! I mean…what the fuck? Now it’s weird because I don’t know what to say to him at all. Conversations will be all uncomfortable and shit.
Well…I told him that I was celibate—which isn’t necessarily a lie, but it’s not the complete truth. I never pledged celibacy, I’m just not having sex. He accepted my response though and told me that he’d never want me to renege on my principles—which was sweet. But then he started up the good morning texts and now I’m thinking like “damn…he must really like me.” And I don’t know how to get back to just being cool…so I’ve kinda been ignoring him. lol
I know…terrible. But shit…that’s the best I can come up with for now.
So…my ex from way back, Porter, popped out of the blue for the umpteenth time. At first I was cool with it because it was a simple good morning text followed by a “how are you?” Once I told that ass that I’m good, and then thanked him for asking, he was like “Yeah…I was just checking on you.” So I thanked him again, and told him that I appreciated it—because it was a nice thing to do. I thought that that was the end of it, but I should’ve known. Right when I was giving the motherfucker his kudos on learning how to leave well enough alone, his monkey ass came back like “So when can I come see you? Send me a pic…”
I was immediately irritated. And I should’ve known he was on the same bullshit as always. Now what I can’t understand is why does he think that I want him to come visit me? Visit for what? We don’t do that shit. I’m sure his ass isn’t trying to stop by for a quaint chat over hot tea and crumpets so there’s no point in coming through at all. Fuck he think he is? Drake? And that’s probably exactly who he think he is. Drake got exes across the globe hitting up old flames talm ‘bout “come through”. But fuck all that—I’m not for it. Especially after this dummy has sat up and decided to father a quarter of Detroit. When we were together, he had zero offspring, now every time I check Facebook, he’s got a new baby and impregnating a chick near you. Certainly he doesn’t seriously believe that we could ever be anything more than exes.
So I told him straight up. “I work all the time, so I’m never home.” That my way of politely saying to keep the fuck away from me. Then he asked me to send him a picture for the second time as if I didn’t see the first text. So I nipped that in the bud like, “Nah…that’s what Instagram and Facebook are for.” I mean…what do you think this is? I’m not taking exclusive pictures for anybody. Kiss my ass.